Erik’s review of Talk got me all nostalgic for the good old “Notes From the Edge” days. The site is currently inaccessible via the front door, but the ASCII pages are still up on the Internet, so you can get in via a back door if you type in a numerical URL. While poking around this way, and stirring up old memories, I came across this hilarious “parody review” (i.e., “IT’S A JOKE, GUYS!!”) of Talk written by “Jeremy” a.k.a. “Captain Apathy” (and dated “March 22, 1994”) — which I think makes a nice addition to our most recent Progarchist controversy over Talk:
Yes- Talk WAY Too Much
After two years of arguments and lawsuits, the band
Yes-We're-That-Pretentious has finally whittled their membership down to a
slim 5, minus members: Rick Wake- Up-and-Smell-the-Coffee-Man, Steve
Howitzer, and Bill Brooford. The band is now the same line-up as on
'90125.71243..." and "Big Degenerative", and have just released their newest
album: "Talk WAY Too Much." Using state of the art technology, the band
recorded and mixed the album completely through a Radio Shack Tandy computer.
But now, let's talk to the band members.
Jon Andersony: "What the band has done in the past I've really enjoyed...
what I remember of it. But this album I'm extrememly proud of. We have
pushed the band to the limits... of human decency."
Trevor Rabin-McEntyre: "The last album ("Onion Soup Mix") was horrible. It
was so bad that I didn't even play on it; I got my good friend Yngwie
Malmsteen to do the guitar work; it was just horrible. But now with the
computer, we can get rid of those horrible tape recorders... of course we
stored all the computer information on tape recorders, but what the heck."
Tony Casey Kasem: "Actually, I kind of liked that last album. But I'm just
happy Rick's gone. It gives me a chance to strut my little toy piano!"
Alan Whitehead: "I've been with the band through and thick and thin, and I
think this is the best work we've done... of course, I'm getting paid to say
Chris Drinks-Like-A-Fish: "Where am I? Someone get me a drink!"
But, let's get to the album, shall we? The tracks (in no specific order):
1) I've Been Waiting (For A Girl Like You)
As a homage to their past, the band produced this timeless cover of the
Foreigner tune, lengthening the song to 3 times its original length.
Jon: "It worked with America, so why not now?"
2) The Call-Waiting
Trevor: "I love this phone feature, it's cool! I can have a three-way
conversation now!" The band hopes to have the song used in an upcoming MCI
3) Really Expensive Love
Chris: "I think Trevor wrote this song about a prostitute girlfriend or
something... where's my Scotch?"
4) State Of Play-Acting
Tony: "Actually, the song is 5 minutes of Trevor air-guitaring... we hope to
get it into video-form, or no one will understand the song."
Surprisingly, this tune was written with the help of Roger Hodgepodge of the
70s band Superdupertramp. Why was he asked to help write the song?
Trevor: "Because the Village People were unavailable."
6) Where Will I Be?
Jon: "The song is actually about one of my favorite books... Where's Waldo?
I just love those things. I sit for hours and hours and try to find him...
it's just wonderful!"
7) Endless Song
For the first time since "Going For The Other One", the band has released a
song of epic proportions. In fact, the song is so long it fills up a second,
third, fourth and fifth CD.
Alan: "You see, it would have only been one, but Trevor's solo was just so
a) Silent Thing
Trevor: "I think Robert Fripp-Wilson would have approved of this one... over
four minutes of silence! It's just... awesome!"
Jon: "Actually, Trevor forgot to turn the mike on."
b) Some Talking
Jon: "I just had so much more to say lyric-wise, that we put this on... I
mean, this is the beginning of the past... or is it the future? Anyway,
other alien galaxies will know what I'm talking about when they hear the
Chris: "Right, what he said... where's that martini?"
c) Endless Song
Tony: "This is the best part of the album. There's one point where I got to
take my Hammond Organ and really tear it apart! Just like Keith Emerson!"
Trevor: "Actually, we had to cut that out, Tony, to put more of my guitar
Tony: "What?! Why you little..."
Let's hope we'll hear more from this talented band!